The books
Never Got Caught
Not one book — a whole shelf of them. Four volumes, one era each, and a new story goes up every week while they’re being drawn. Kids read the adventure; grown-ups spot the parents in the background, calmly looking the wrong way.
Four volumes · 44 stories so far · new one every week
The four volumes
The stories split neatly by era, because the trouble got bigger as we did. Volume one is in illustration now; the rest are written and queued.
Volume one · 1993–1994 · in illustration
The Early Years
Opens with The Great Milk Crate Prank: 32 pages, nineteen crates, one bungee cord, and a mum at the washing line who never once looks up. Cover gallery and free sample spread inside.
Volume 2 · 1995 · next up
Out Of The Garden
The village gets bigger the summer you're allowed past the postbox. Orchards, air rifles, nettles, and the first proper chase.
11 stories
Volume 3 · 1996 – 1997 · written
Wheels And Fire
Anything with wheels, anything that burns. Wheelie bins, milk floats, rafts, rockets that go sideways, and a borrowed fire extinguisher.
18 stories
Volume 4 · 1998 – 1999 · written
The Last Summers
Out the bathroom window at half eleven, back by one. The stories get taller, the grown-ups stay exactly as oblivious, and then it ends.
5 stories
New stories land every week. Another story gets written up and another spread gets drawn — subscribers see each one first, before it goes anywhere near a shop. Join the list on the home page.
The full story list
44 stories so far from one village between 1993 and 1999 — written up, in the notebook, or waiting to be developed. More turn up every time somebody from Bramblewick starts a sentence with “do you remember when”. Too many for one book, so they’re grouped into volumes by era.
Volume 1 — 1993 – 1994
The Early Years
Barry moves in next door, the milk crates go up, and we learn that a bread bag holds four pints. Small bodies, small bikes, enormous ideas.
10 stories
- 011993
The Great Milk Crate Prank
“For about one and a half seconds I was the tallest boy in Essex. Then I was a boy in a hedge.”
Book one
- 021993
Two On One Bike
“Barry sat on the handlebars, which meant Barry could not steer and I could not see. We agreed this was fine.”
Written
- 031993
The Great Nettle Catastrophe
“The ditch was full of nettles. We know exactly how full, because we counted them later, on my legs.”
Written
- 041994
The Hovis Bag Water Bomb
“A bread bag holds four pints of water. A brand new Cavalier holds all four of them at once.”
Written
- 051994
The Treehouse Demolition
“You should not take a hacksaw up a ladder. Two dads were nine feet away and neither one turned round.”
Written
- 061994
The Honda PX In The Long Grass
“It had no brakes, no lights and no owner. It had a kickstart, and that was enough for us.”
Written
- 071994
The Porters Cabin Fire
“We only wanted a small fire. Small fires do not stay small in a cabin full of newspapers.”
Written — needs a tidy
- 271994
Donuts On The Rec
“The grass was wet, the tyres were bald, and the park keeper had already gone home.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 371994
Seven Day Wonders
“Every fad lasted a week. Pogo sticks, diabolos, rollerblades, hospital visits.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 441993
Barry Moves In
“The day Barry arrived, the tennis court became a swear jar with no jar.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
Volume 2 — 1995
Out Of The Garden
The village gets bigger the summer you're allowed past the postbox. Orchards, air rifles, nettles, and the first proper chase.
11 stories
- 081995
The Greenhouse Massacre
“Somebody said the air rifle was only for tin cans. There were no tin cans. There was a greenhouse.”
Written
- 091995
The Shortcut Through Mr Hall's Garden
“It saved eleven seconds. We used all eleven of them being chased.”
Written
- 101995
The Sledge With No Snow
“Grass is faster than snow. Nobody tells you that. Nobody tells you where it stops, either.”
Written
- 111995
The Rope Swing Over The Brook
“The rope was fine. The branch was fine. The brook was where the trouble was kept.”
Written
- 121995
Scrumping The Wrong Orchard
“Forty apples, two jumpers tied into bags, and a farmer who knew all our mothers by name.”
Written
- 281995
The BYOB Party
“Bring your own booze, hide it in a hedge, and hope nobody's mum drives past.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 311995
The Washing Line Run
“Coming home from the 2-4 with somebody else's sheets over your shoulder.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 331995
Dale And The BB Gun
“The police car slowed down. Dale hid the gun in a hedge. The hedge was not on his side.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 341995
Dale Gets Shot
“It was only a BB. Dale still did a full opera on the pavement.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 381995
The Strawberry Raid
“The polytunnel was full of them. So were our pockets. So was the farmer's face.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 421995
Plums At The Gate
“We did not steal them. We found them. Then we sold them. Then we ran.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
Volume 3 — 1996 – 1997
Wheels And Fire
Anything with wheels, anything that burns. Wheelie bins, milk floats, rafts, rockets that go sideways, and a borrowed fire extinguisher.
18 stories
- 131996
The Wheelie Bin Downhill
“A boy fits in a wheelie bin. A wheelie bin fits down Vicarage Hill. Only one of them steers.”
Written
- 141996
The Bonfire Night Misfire
“The rocket went sideways, which is the one direction a rocket is not supposed to know about.”
Written — needs a tidy
- 151996
The Pond, The Raft And The Barrels
“Four barrels, one pallet, three boys. The maths worked for about six feet.”
Written
- 161996
Cider In The Bus Shelter
“We were far too young. It tasted like apples and bad decisions, mostly the second one.”
Written
- 171996
The Milk Float Incident
“It moves. That is the thing nobody expects about a milk float. It absolutely moves.”
Written
- 181997
The Trolley From The Co-op
“We returned it. Eventually. From a field. With a wheel missing and a duck in it.”
Written
- 191997
Knock Down Ginger, Championship Level
“Eleven doors in one street. The eleventh door opened faster than any door has opened since.”
Written
- 201997
The Oasis Tape
“We played it ninety times. Mum still thinks that summer sounded like the lawnmower.”
Written
- 211997
The Ditch Bike Jump
“Two paving slabs and a plank. The plank had opinions about my weight and shared them mid-air.”
Written
- 221997
The Farm Gate Ride
“A five-bar gate swings a long way when three of you are on the end of it.”
Written
- 291996
The Fire Extinguisher Disco
“Borrowed decks, borrowed extinguisher, borrowed trouble. The bass sounded white.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 301996
Ben's Den In Brightlingsea
“A sofa, a kettle and a stream of visitors nobody could explain.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 321997
The Humpback Bridge Jump
“Neil said the car would take it. The car took it. My stomach did not.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 351996
Dale And The Rubber Ring
“A ring, a river, and a current that had plans Dale had not discussed.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 361997
The Professional
“We called him that because he ran like he was being paid. He was not being paid. He was being chased.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 401997
The McDonald's Incident
“Chubb needed a wee. The McDonald's wall was there. The security camera was also there.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 411996
Basketball Summers
“Every hoop was too high, every court was cracked, and every game ended at A&E.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
- 431997
Gold Balls
“Three stolen golf balls, one slingshot, and a greenhouse that had done nothing to anyone.”
Idea · read the synopsis →
Volume 4 — 1998 – 1999
The Last Summers
Out the bathroom window at half eleven, back by one. The stories get taller, the grown-ups stay exactly as oblivious, and then it ends.
5 stories
- 231998
The Bathroom Window Escape
“Out at half past eleven, back by one, shoes in hand, and a dad snoring through the whole thing.”
Written
- 241998
The Shed Roof
“Asbestos, it turns out, is not a trampoline. We found this out the fast way.”
Written — needs a tidy
- 251998
The Chip Shop Bet
“Two quid said I could not eat a whole battered sausage in one go. Two quid was wrong, then right.”
Written
- 261999
The Last Summer
“Nobody got told off. Nobody ever got told off. That is the whole point of the series.”
Written
- 391998
Ben's Escort Van
“Borrowed without asking, driven without a licence, returned without a bumper.”
Idea · read the synopsis →